I’m filled with an incredible sense of sadness. Tonight I walked around the neighborhood listening to people. There is nothing else to talk about. It felt kind of like what I imagine an Irish wake would be like. People were drinking in bars and telling stories about the buildings.
It is likely that I will have known someone who died. There have been no meaningful figures or statistics yet, but the number of lives lost will be ghastly. Too many people worked down there and New York City is too small a town not to know a victim.
A few weeks ago my brothers and I visited the towers. I’ve spent a lot of time wandering around down there and recognize every location on the news. It will be unnerving to walk around down there in a few weeks when downtown opens again.
Walking around, there were two moments where I almost lost it. My overall numbness has been baffling. I’ve never teared up, never cried, just floated between numb and sad. If or when I do finally break down it will be a relief. Today has been inconceivably horrible. I can turn off the TV but the real thing is happening just down the street. Sirens go by a couple times an hour breaking the unnatural quiet which has settled over our neighborhood.
I’m going to bed early though I doubt I’ll sleep through the night.